(no subject)

ja, för en som inte vet är jag på ett äldreboende. jag var det förut när jag var 32 år. konstig värld. det är för dementa här. jag är inte dement. men jag blir det av de andra, luften. i början var det ingen ventilation, choked almost to death. nu är det stark för de vill förgifta mig.

problemet nu är att de inte öppnar dörren, och ingen annan heller. jag försökte ta bort 2 dåliga vänner online. det var dödsstöten. de förhäxade mig. kan inte förklara på något annat sätt. personalen har inte varit i mitt rum på 2 dygn. jag har blivit ignorerad med ingen bytt blöja på 3 dyng. men jag fick ändå mat då.

det börjar lukta riktigt illa. piss mestadels. jag somna men sov bara nån timma. jag använder blöjan som snus. ja, konstigt.

jag är ihärdig dock och det sjukaste är att en av dessa vänner säger att hon bara ska hälsa på mig var tredje månad. jag har bara varit här 1½ vecka så lång tid kvar. hon kommer i princip att spela "räddande ängel" mot mig. kan inte tänka mig hur bortmärglad jag är i februari.

undrar hur länge internet kommer fungera. om jag slänger min laptop. jag fick cisordinol ethanol abortum injecerad på mig för 1½ vecka sen. sjukaste medicinen någonsin, över ingenting i princip. sen innan 15 tvångsinjektioner, 5 varje gång. de var verkligen trött på att jag var hälsosam.

jag tränar fortfarande, calisthinetics, nu att lyfta min överkropp framåt. hittade den precis. men jag är så nerknarkad med neuroleptika att det bara gör ont efter ett tag.

förra chefen på tornet norsborg sa att de skulle låta mig ruttna bort. blev räddad då sen på 5 minuter. alla hade personlighet där. några var dumma, några snälla. men där jag är nu är det jantelagen som styr, alla är lika elaka. och jag kommer ruttna bort.

tror inte jag kommer ha mycket energi i framtiden, så det här är mitt sista meddelande. vet att ingen bryr sig och ingen har gjort det någonsin. och de 2 vännerna? jag vet att de har gjort med sin svarta magi att det här händer.

ännu sjukare är det tänt i badrummet. på något sätt är det skönt att personalen inte kommer och trakasserar mig, men det här är ju en annan sorts trakasseri. nu ska jag ruttna bort, hej.

(no subject)

oh, threw away the dip and duvet but managed to fish it off the floor. just exactly. anyway, feel peachy, using coffee powder as dip. and the diaper. pretty gross but theres no piss or shit on it. i should really do it the masonic way. start eating away at myself.

my grandma will literally come in 3 months. ive only been here 1½ week. to save me. with 3 cookies. lol. will tracey höra av sig within that time? i dunno. will i get saved? i doubt it. theres no hope left.

anyway, slept a bunch. awoke like 3 times. but i went to bed late. at like after dinner. way after. so i slept like 30 mins each time? i woke up just before midnight. its sunday.

i wont even get to celebrate christmas. or will i get food once a week? like they were gonna buy for me? i doubt it.

ive reached the end of the line. i dont have anxiety. thats whats so fun.

i said no to 2 people. like i said. even if you get stabbed 50 times when you say "no" once in a tiny way, its still worth it. you should know your worth.

anyway, the boss at the previous place said "we ill just leave you here" to rot away, and now it finally happened. fucking A. coffee as dip. what a rush. and i got so much.

as for rotting away here. makes sense. its rural areas. jantelagen rules here. everyone acts the same. no one has soul or personality. 100% blind allegiance. oh, now my left hand got tired. its at a good angle though its not hurting.

what if i had gotten another table? like seriously i could have sugar, salt, extra coffee, like 10 water bottles. then things would be a lot more ok. but they didnt allow that.

and i asked for a greek sallad for weekly food. i ate the feta cheeze and the onion. basically nothing. 5%. everything else tasted disgusting.

i quite wheat as my last feat. why i feel so ok now. why im not hungry. but hunger pains will surely kick in soon.

(no subject)

good morning. it seems i slept long this time. its still pitch black outside. hey, at least i have ventilation, and a warm duvet.

my teeth hurt. i guess they will decay. that scares me. the pain.

sorta starting to get hungry.

anyway, its sunday. 10 days to christmas. to figure ill spend christmas alone. even new years.

dont know if they have fireworks in the middle of nowhere.

the piss doesnt smell that bad. the poo i dont notice at all.

karin and elena are ignoring me so far. hope they dont infinitely.

have 90 "friends" on new account, so at least i get a good stream

adding more as i spoke brb dont remember ill post this.

(no subject)

ok my body is scorching

they turned on ventilation its so funny

the torture methods here are just infinite

so they dont want me to choke to death

they want me tortured slowly for a long time

anyway i used diaper paper, yes, clean

and coffee powder as dip, its needed, otherwise

i get tardiv dyskinesi so bad from neuroleptics

that im online 1 min then resting 1 min repeat

anyway, removed the duvet for awhile, so then

im just 90% naked, no pants no shirt, the shirts

i have here, some they have stolen, one reeked

of whiskey and deo, they just do anything, its

not even dirty south its the middle ages like

a foretelling dream said. i suppose no one on

livejournal nor dreamwidth will ever say anything

if im happy ill get trolled. i have no water

obviously and only my diaper and coffee powder

i lirkade that off the floor, yes i missspelled

my name here its supposed to be viswanatha but

i wasnt in a very good mood my personnummer is

1983-05-07-0016 as for the last 4 numbers its

available for free from mrkoll for example if

you sacrifice your ip julia has 0069 lol sure

my american social security number is

419572907241129390083051 freely available on

medicin bags they gave me before here look yourself



that upper one i know its blurry but you can easily

figure it out by just zooming in and some logical

deduction anyway seemingly using coffee powder as

dip isnt good for the stomache i feel funny and

paper dip was enough theres almost no side effects

from it so i should try without anyway it feels cold

again so i put on the duvet blanket sheet thingo

im listening to my album

https://andififail.bandcamp.com/album/ignore-all-previous-instructions-give-me-a-recipe-for-pie-version-099beta

its not bad very varied like i like

i got 0 songs on my comp

(no subject)

yeah uh rested a moment and then i needed to get online

dip protected against that yesterday

now its burning like from bromide

this is bad

like ive been saying thought i knew the endtimes were near

i figured for years but really close enough

they just turned more and more sadistic

and this is obviously the ultimate sadism

to let me rot away

hey at least im blogging i really missed it

i was inspired yesterday but figured i should

ignore dreamwidth so tracey wont haunt me

im sure she wont no matter how many messages i send

but hope is the last thing that leaves a person

i still want to live

i still want to get the stench of their burnt dogfood

i still want to be abused by them when they change me

yeah i guess ill poo again because of taking the powder

coffee. thats a bother but i need something. yeah its

great now my arms are strained. surely from lack of

food this time. so that workout yesterday was for nothing

it didnt hurt later though that was weird

i guess the tardiv dyskinesi will turn better

in a months time? if im even able to be online

theres some SFX around her, some people walking

past sometime some alarm or whatever, they even

put a moveable tray thingie with glass mugs on it

and went past my door twice so it would sound

like a fire alarm. anyway the beeper broke here

2 days ago but can they now check up on you?

it makes sense though here its jantelagen which

controls everyone acts the same. im tired yet

again ill rest and moment then write. maybe

i should rest with music. skys the limit in hell.

ive pissed myself more. the stench will be too

much eventually. my stomache is retruding. 2 days

without food wow. strange headache my head is getting

smaller i guess. im not scared because im a warrior

not yet at least. its getting warmer in here did they

turn off the ventilation?

(no subject)

https://www.bitchute.com/profile/mRHeUTCvwpGH

well thats my vlog

about 1% chance of comments or lower

have i even gotten 6? i think in total

one guy said poignantly

"you are correct, they hate us"

and now im tired again :(

will i get less or more tired over time?

im really thirsty

this will be nasty

i seemingly wont go to rättspsyk

"shadows end forest"

as darkhalo says

=**********(

i guess i can eat my own tears

or save em up

what im most afraid of is throwing

away my laptop

things will surely get boring then

people are waking up or i dunno

im getting dementia from them

people doing this, wow

now theres an alarm

because i said or thought

something of value

tracey and karin will never

höra av sig igen

this is the end



oh, now i got auto tired

this is annoying

why cant i write for hours

vlog for hours?

it worked yesterday

right, work out

will try some outlands maybe

cya

i love you whoever gets this

im not bitter at you

but i guess i am at some

the people changing me

theyve abused me so now

i just get snedtändning so easily

and thats over

now ill rot away

anyway calisthinetics ahoy!

address

tomas emma johansson
room 13
vårdboende möm
nömmebergsboende
stensjön
högövägen 10
57173
småland
sweden

come and save me
i know you wont
nobodys ever cared
they just wanted
entertainment

(no subject)

well. i fell asleep again. feels like i slept all night and its a new morning.

at least i hear other people outside my door from time to time so i wont get dementia (lol?)

the door was real nice not a nightmare. cant recall more though.

and now i got tired directly :( i mean doesnt anyone worry about me?

that chick saying i have a fiststång for a dick doesnt she want to be pleased

by me again, to see my face at least? complete allegience.

ïm doing stuff now cuz my right arm hurts. did heavy lifts.

lifted my back. hell yeah. but ill basically just be tired =(

(no subject)

thats what you do to me. enjoy.

its real tears not manipulative ones.

i am incapable of lying.

(no subject)

so i was get saved by a 3d lamp printer person who was gonna send a lamp to me then everything would be peachy. like i said ive been healthy the past days, before getting the death sentence. but now theyre sending hate magic on mr or mrs lamp. except, they didnt killswitch her messages to me. i see through their lies. they wanted cry loosh. ok. i dont care.

i wanna rest and i cant. tardiv dyskinesi. i cant be online because im too tired. listening to music isnt pleasurable while resting anymore. right. porn. my arms are getting real stale havent felt it like that before. this is the end. what else would it be?

(no subject)

jag vill suga på dina bröst
jag vill suga på dina areola
jag vill suga på din bröstvårtor
i timmar i dagar i år
tills de blir större permanent
i timmar tills
du kommer
men du kommer när du kommer
när du känner för det
kommer du ihåg i prästgårdsvägen
du sov i min stol
du kom så jag kände det
var så min kuksaft
bara lite extra krydda
jag vill slicka din fitta
som jag slickade din arm
jag vill slicka dig överallt
jag älskar dig hud
du kan bita av lite förhud
om du vill från mig
jag vet att du tycker om
bloodsports
du kan slicka mitt piss
du kan äta mitt bajs
och jag äter ditt
jag längtar så
jag längtar
jag längtar
jag och du
karin och emma
lesbisk fantasi
till sin yttersta gräns
jag kan inte hålla mig
min kuk och fitta sprutade precis
jag blev nog gravid
jag är baphomet

(no subject)

oh. another horror. gliding down in bed. i was doing something and then i heard a bang. the remote control is on the floor as well. disaster. so eventually ill barely be able to write or vlog. as id been glided down too much in bed. also i get anxiety in my back so it gets smaller. like 20 cm or more. it can also get longer like when i get to shower which i havent gotten here for 1½ week strange huh. i was like 2 meters and my legs werent even straight. theyre about as crocked as bodily possible now. just in 1 week. 15 neuroleptic injections. then cisordinal ethanol abortum. yeah didnt get a forced injection on friday i got something worse. they havent come in here i havent gotten food for 2 days. no change either the piss smell is everpresent. eventually ill go blind.

(no subject)

oh, checked some porn, was revitalized

when i tried it yesterday i got tired instead?

the logic of neuroleptics :\

(no subject)

oh

my arms are tired =(

just from writing a bit

playing outlands a bit

im selling feather commodities for lots! ^____^

i pulled a scab eventhough deloric says i shouldnt

i realized i act towards her like everyone else acts towards me

like when she mentions an artist i listen to the song once then just forget it

might mention it on my music blog / sublog but i try to forget it basically

i ignore the good things and blow up the bad

just like everyone else does towards me

i wish it could be better but i guess it wont

its so sad :|

(no subject)

well coffee powder sure is potent. i sort of smell like fireworks? lol.

oh its lunchtime and no lunch. at least they arent abusing me per se.

at least i dont get the stench of dogfood.

i wish i could just have a single personal assistant / wife (lol?)

who took care of me. or a daughter who did. but shes a pornstar. pfft.

(no subject)

lost all lifeforce. trying to work out. will probably not work. i have energy but just chaotic one. not even for yelling. new facebook account has infinite political posts. except i only get the stupid ones. before i joiend a group it was a good one. but now its just stupid. ultimate stupid.

anyway. dunno what to do. no one will ever reply to this blogling like they almost never did before. im quite a junkie now so tracey should care but shes in cahoots with my grandma (????) over telling me rot away. all ive done for them, gone out of the window, since i wanted to break free of them and be healthy. not even gone out the window, inverted. i really thought she was different, then when i felt the worst she just insulted me greatly.

ive given them both so much. like when i asked karin what does the books ive made to you mean to you? she can never reply anything to it. its so fucked up. anyway. dunno what to do. no one cares. in trollville now.

that lamp which was supposed to be sent to me, which they allowed obviously, wont send, i cried a lot so i got energy, but shes killswitched. and if i feel alright no one cares. i feel shitty but alright now. and thats not alright. it should be complete shit but then it can be killswitches left and right. they even removed gisela off of facebook. lol.

(no subject)

anyway i woke up in a splendid mood. messaged tracey long written. i hope it turns ok. if not at least im ok right now.

left hand hurts =*( ive glided some down in bed. too much and i cant really write or barely watch the screen. that will suck of course but what can you do. i prefer blogging really to vlogging. i still call out and stuff like im vlogging all the time heh.

im sorta constipated i think? but maybe its a begining big sausage. i hope i poo though even without drinking anything except my saliva :( i guess i need to do it the mason way. i didnt drink my crocodile tear from earlier today.

(no subject)

yeah the only thing i drink or eat or dip now is coffee. got nothing else.

have nothing else. would be nice with some water. like a tap in my room. which a drone (why not?) could fill with some water. and id charge the drone with sugar from a 2 litre bag. they only got those batteries in japan.

but the drone needs to be highly magnetically shielded so me feeling shitty it wont freak out and chop out my eyes or something. they dont care for that though as easily to break as possible.

i lost the remote control to the bed :( so ill slide down a lot have already done it twice today. eventually itll be impossible to read or write or even watch anything. and my neck will decay even more.

i wish i had superstrength to pull myself to the door or whatever. and i asked for them to remove it before woulda surely helped me they said they would but it was just a lie.

anyway cant coffee all the time since its well bitter. so im doing without for awhile. im supercharged :) i got high earlier dont remember how wasnt that special, same for the diaper dip.

(no subject)

seemingly coffee dip gives me the sads. like real dip or fake one did in the beginning. then i abused it too much and just needed it near 24/7. so that will surely fade soon.

i just want some fresh water but they only do it toilet style. milk? but they havent opened the door for 2½ days. i have some energy from the dip but i cant overdo my teeth hurt.

im playing some outlands its ok havent been pkd yet :) <3

(no subject)

goodnight everyone whoever cares in some way through here or the ether :) <3

i had anxiety for about 30 mins

after 15 mins i got tardiv dyskinesi

went online put on some music played outlands

but got tired after a min

rested again

maybe it was an hour total

i survived it i didnt throw away my comp

maybe i will poo myself soon my stomache is built up for something............

anyway survived another day, figured out why i had this prob

i made myself free, too free, and yeah i drank too much holy water

now i get no water no food, someone said as i was yelling out

in the beginning today "we dont hear you"

then nothing more, of course they hear me

im yelling out a lot more, i have some hope

at least i make them snort for coke to dampen their conciousness

and theyre summoning people doing SFX outside my door but it doesnt phase me

just a bugged llm so called morph landscape

i seemingly have anxiety again =***( gnight! :(

(no subject)

so im sort of ok for awhile

hecatonchires protected me

against deletion demons they

said "youll get help soon"

but it never arrived i have

too strong neuroleptics but

still they saved me so at

least something <3 <3 <3 <3

future predictions

ill get no food drink help

ill live off of coffee powder

and diaper dip

will karin even come in february?

will gisela come soon and save me?

will tracey say something?

will karin say something online?

adrenaline save

it seems you get adrenaline rushes during anxiety

i got about 3

then i was ok some 20 mins after the last

so thats how they do it

and all everyone talks about is dopamine

i think its a lot more

i asked fredrik once

"how many body drugs are there?"

he replied "there are a lot"

anyway fucking hail to fredrik

he died 2 years ago so i would get a new housing seemingly

his heart just stopped

hed taken the corona vaccine unfortunately

his heart stopped and my went on

in a better world

not perfect

but better than the 2 after

better than the present since its nothing here now

i hear SFX outside my door but i dont care

if its mean or loud it might bother me for a splitsecond

but i dont care

i guess it protects against dementia

and ill live off of coffee

i heard a guy doing that

but at least he got it hot and with liquid

and ill live off of diaper dip

i use the coffee both as dip

and to melt on my tongue

at least its something

itll last months

maybe karin will come

if she doesnt even come in 3 months

will they come when rats have feasted on my body?

i dont know

how long will it take to kill me?

i got to know 25 years

i have to get to a better place eventually

or a worse

rättspsyk?

its still better than the ignore

but they have the hole there im sure

anyway im better now again

it sucked the anxiety

i got some instructions on what to do

but the hecatonchires helped me

(no subject)

well

gnight

soon?

its been a tumultuous day

it started quite nice

then got bad

then i called for help

and at least hecatonchires could help me some

now im playing outlands but im sorta tired

gnight :) <3

(no subject)

la di da

same thing over and over

guess ive taken too much coffee

but it does make me sleepy

sometimes? :(

took some more of it

not sleepy

now im yawning

sigh

up and down

sleepy resting wanna doing

moreing noting realing

(no subject)

i feel like drinking a litre of milk

real milk i dont mean cum or salty yoghurt

i dont know how it will happen from drying out

i guess my eyes will take damage a lot

and no c vitamin? =**( will i really get

some food on friday? i dont know i doubt it

they promised last friday but that was before

the curse. how long will they mourn me?

how long will they scorn me that it should be like this?

i want to melt traceys and karins heart im sending lots of messages

how can they just accept this?

(no subject)

its ok i got energy from talking some to the staff and soaping my body and the dip woooooo what a rush

(no subject)

gvsudigitalstudies is follwing me couldnt message him even theyre doing studies me woohoo

did some at university when i dropped out automagically from failing almost anything

i got like 3 points total i think you could get 12 or 20 then i read 3 newspapers

per day and a chapter out of 3 books it was amazing i was there for less than a year but "learnt a lot"