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Dec. 14th, 2025 12:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
visvanathaoh, threw away the dip and duvet but managed to fish it off the floor. just exactly. anyway, feel peachy, using coffee powder as dip. and the diaper. pretty gross but theres no piss or shit on it. i should really do it the masonic way. start eating away at myself.
my grandma will literally come in 3 months. ive only been here 1½ week. to save me. with 3 cookies. lol. will tracey höra av sig within that time? i dunno. will i get saved? i doubt it. theres no hope left.
anyway, slept a bunch. awoke like 3 times. but i went to bed late. at like after dinner. way after. so i slept like 30 mins each time? i woke up just before midnight. its sunday.
i wont even get to celebrate christmas. or will i get food once a week? like they were gonna buy for me? i doubt it.
ive reached the end of the line. i dont have anxiety. thats whats so fun.
i said no to 2 people. like i said. even if you get stabbed 50 times when you say "no" once in a tiny way, its still worth it. you should know your worth.
anyway, the boss at the previous place said "we ill just leave you here" to rot away, and now it finally happened. fucking A. coffee as dip. what a rush. and i got so much.
as for rotting away here. makes sense. its rural areas. jantelagen rules here. everyone acts the same. no one has soul or personality. 100% blind allegiance. oh, now my left hand got tired. its at a good angle though its not hurting.
what if i had gotten another table? like seriously i could have sugar, salt, extra coffee, like 10 water bottles. then things would be a lot more ok. but they didnt allow that.
and i asked for a greek sallad for weekly food. i ate the feta cheeze and the onion. basically nothing. 5%. everything else tasted disgusting.
i quite wheat as my last feat. why i feel so ok now. why im not hungry. but hunger pains will surely kick in soon.
my grandma will literally come in 3 months. ive only been here 1½ week. to save me. with 3 cookies. lol. will tracey höra av sig within that time? i dunno. will i get saved? i doubt it. theres no hope left.
anyway, slept a bunch. awoke like 3 times. but i went to bed late. at like after dinner. way after. so i slept like 30 mins each time? i woke up just before midnight. its sunday.
i wont even get to celebrate christmas. or will i get food once a week? like they were gonna buy for me? i doubt it.
ive reached the end of the line. i dont have anxiety. thats whats so fun.
i said no to 2 people. like i said. even if you get stabbed 50 times when you say "no" once in a tiny way, its still worth it. you should know your worth.
anyway, the boss at the previous place said "we ill just leave you here" to rot away, and now it finally happened. fucking A. coffee as dip. what a rush. and i got so much.
as for rotting away here. makes sense. its rural areas. jantelagen rules here. everyone acts the same. no one has soul or personality. 100% blind allegiance. oh, now my left hand got tired. its at a good angle though its not hurting.
what if i had gotten another table? like seriously i could have sugar, salt, extra coffee, like 10 water bottles. then things would be a lot more ok. but they didnt allow that.
and i asked for a greek sallad for weekly food. i ate the feta cheeze and the onion. basically nothing. 5%. everything else tasted disgusting.
i quite wheat as my last feat. why i feel so ok now. why im not hungry. but hunger pains will surely kick in soon.
